As much as I have tried to be reasonable, I have officially turned into one of those mothers. From the time we enrolled Dannah and Natalie in kindergarten, we specifically requested that the girls be put into separate classes. Having their own friends, space, and identities was very important to us. After Dannah was put into the GT program it became a non-issue.
Recently, it was brought to my attention that Natalie was being picked on by a couple of girls in her specials group. When she informed the teacher of this, the teacher responded by saying, "Am I E. or M.? Go work it out with them." Finally, after hearing what these children were saying to Natalie, I went to Natalie's teacher and expressed my disappointment in how this situation was being handled. I asked that Natalie be moved to another group. She told me that instead of moving Natalie, she would ask that the girls who were bullying be separated. There are three groups of 2nd graders, so I assumed it would be taken care of.
Today Dannah comes home in tears and tells me that they did separate the girls, but in the process they pulled Dannah out of her group and put her into Natalie's! They left one of the bullies in Natalie's group, moved the other to the 3rd group and I'm assuming placed Dannah with Natalie so that she could help protect her. I was furious!
I called Natalie's teacher and explained why I was upset about Dannah being put in the middle of this situation, to which she told me she would see what she could do. I then called the specials teacher and told her that I wanted Dannah placed back in her original group and I did not appreciate her bringing Dannah into a situation that had nothing to do with her. While I remained polite, she responded fairly harsh to me over the phone but agreed to place Dannah back in her original group.
Unfortunately, the issue is far from over. I feel horrible about it because one mother is threatening to pull her child from the school due to one of the girls being placed in her group. While normally I would sum it up to this parent's decision, she is really the only other parent I have connected with and her daughter is the only solid friendship Natalie has formed.
Am I being irrational by being ticked over how this situation was handled?
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3 comments:
I think bullying is one of the things that terrifies me most about Madison being school-aged now. I hate the thought of someone saying cruel and untrue things about her and hurting her feelings. I don't think you're over reacting at all! You're protecting your daughter and that's what every mother is supposed to do. It's unfortunate that the other mom is threatening to pull her daughter out but ultimately your duty is to Natalie.
I think you did what was right, you stood up for what you believe in and for your daughters. I'm sorry it took them that much to get things worked out, and that this one person is thinking of pulling their child out. I would think it'd be the teacher's duty to have a meeting and discussion with the parents of those causing the trouble.
I totally agree with what Emily said!
Bullying is inevitable in school aged children but it is the teacher's responsibility to address it as it happens. Placing the burden of protecting a student (be it a sibling or not) on another student (especailly one who is eight years old!) is simply unacceptable. You had every right to contact the school and you are doing the absolute best thing you can by following up on the situation. It is not your responsibility to apease another parent who is also worried for their child's well-being. That's a responsibility that belongs with the school administrators who are the ones paid to work out such situations.
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