Death is the one thing we all have in common

Things have been tough lately. My father-in-law was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer in early April. A shock for everyone, considering he was an otherwise healthy 54 year old non-smoker. In a matter of months he went from a marathon cyclist to wheelchair bound.

In May we took the girls to Australia to spend a month with their grandparents. We wanted the girls to form memories, although we are fully aware that Hallie and Claire are too young to remember much, if anything. Tim certainly still had his good and bad days, but kept his sense of humor. We took turns going with him to radiation and the girls got to "color" on Pop as they marked him. The uncertain future made leaving difficult and while the girls were oblivious, my heart broke for Ian.

Today Colleen (my MIL) called at 8am (2am their time) to let us know that Tim was in the hospital with bleeding in the brain and a clot in his "good" lung. He has signed his DNR and declined in-hospice care, so that he can return home to die. Two hospice nurses will be helping Colleen, who is an RN herself, with his care. They have converted Ian's former room into a "hospital" room.

After months of denial, the reality has finally hit Ian. He agreed to let me book him a ticket to Australia. An hour after he got off the phone, he had a round trip ticket - leaving this Sunday and returning on the 20th. I have been pressing for months for him to go and I am so grateful he is finally doing so. Colleen reported that Tim cried when he heard that his son would be coming.

I just wish I could be with Ian during this time. We haven't spent a night away from each other in nearly five years and I'm panicking a bit over the idea. Eleven days! Purely selfish thoughts on my part and I would never voice them to Ian. My prayer at this point is that he makes it in time.