We survived Natalie's slumber party! Ten children, my four included, joined us for the night. Hallie's "best friend" Emma also came to enjoy the chaos. The girls had a wonderful time, but I am very thankful we don't do this on a regular occurrence!














































































In other news, Ian and I bought an early Christmas present:

We were able to get an amazing deal on it and it is perfect! Ian will drive our other Odyssey until we can trade it in for a smaller vehicle. We were very fortunate to find such an amazing deal.

Not our exact van, but identical.

Maybe things are looking up?

“Purpose is what gives life meaning."

A friend once told me that it is much easier to deal with your own grief than that of someone you love. There really is truth to that. At the moment, half a world away, Tim's funeral is being held. They will have him in a casket and following the "celebration" he will be cremated. His ashes will then be scattered in a place he and Ian used to hike together.

Shortly after Tim was diagnosed, we were talking online and he asked me how Ian was coping. He explained that he worried for his son because he remembered when his own father became sick. I assured him I would take care of Ian and he said he knew and how grateful he was that Ian had me. At the time I cried, telling myself that it would be okay but realizing those words would probably one day come into play. I have told everyone that Ian is okay, but I know he is not. I honestly can't imagine being in his place right now, nor do I want to. I know how extremely close Tim and Ian were and I know Ian is really hurting over losing Tim. Of course, he is being a male and insisting that he must be strong for everyone else. When it comes down to it, he hasn't been coming to bed until 4am in attempts to avoid thinking.

Today we had plans to go car shopping but it snowed and neither of us felt like venturing out to the dealerships. We are still looking for a car for Ian and trading in my Odyssey for a newer one. We'll see what tomorrow brings, but hopefully two cars because I hate car shopping!

Birthday Girl

Today is Natalie's 8th birthday! It's so hard to believe she went from this shy, abused 5 year old into a very sweet and loving little girl. I am so grateful she came into our lives and we were able to have her join our family.

I am planning to make her requested dinner of: Spaghetti, Italian sausage, garlic french bread and a garden salad. Afterward we'll take the girls to Cold Stone for some ice cream. I had planned on making a cake but she said she would rather go out, and I wasn't about to complain.

In general, everyone is doing alright. Dannah opted to stay home from school today, while Natalie chose to go. We are all still very sad but have managed to avoid tears today. Tim's Christmas present arrived today, we had ordered it with two day delivery in hopes of sending it early to cheer him up. Right now I have no idea what to do with it. Anyone need a Bill Bryson book on CD? Maybe we'll just donate it, I have a feeling returning it would leave a worse feeling.

I'll update later with photos of Natalie's birthday.

Has Blogspot changed? Many people can't view my blog and my font has changed as well. Can someone help me figure it out?

A life lost

Ian's dad died last night. My MIL called us at 3am (their time) and talked to Ian for about an hour. At 7am the hospice called and said Tim's health was deteriorating. He spent most of the day unconscious, which was a blessing because he feared dying while gasping for breath. Colleen, my mother-in-law, dressed him in the clothes he had asked to be put it, things he would have worn while cycling, kayaking, running and hiking: A beenie, Northface shorts, a fleece short sleeved top and the Merrell running shoes he bought while visiting us last year.
He died at 3:30pm with Colleen, Megan (Ian's 23 year old sister) and two family friends with him.

Dannah and Pop.

While expected, the reality wasn't any easier. Ian and I held each other until 3am last night, crying and talking. We told the girls this morning and the conversation went much as we expected it to. Dannah and Natalie were very upset and Hallie suggested that we give Pop a shot and some vitamins and he would get better. She also pointed out that she was in hospital too, when she was a tiny baby.

2007: Pop and Hallie

This was not how things were supposed to play out. He was not an old man! Our girls have lost the experience of having him in their lives. So many people have been cheated. I feel so badly for Ian, who has lost the person who he has looked up to his entire life.

2008: Pop and Natalie

Due to time restraints, Ian has made the decision not to fly back to Australia to attend the funeral. His mother and uncle both offered to pay for the flight, regardless of cost, but Ian said he had already said his goodbyes. Instead, he has decided to take a week off of work and spend it with the girls and I.

2007: Tim with Claire, Colleen.

Before he died, he asked Colleen to visit us once a year. I truly hope she does this, as they have been such an important part of our lives. While we have had month (+) long visits once a year, Ian had spoken with his dad online nearly every night since moving to the US. His parents both adored the girls and often spoke with them as well. It's still very surreal to see Tim's screen name online on MSN, set to "Away".

Our Family: 2007
My parents, Ian's parents and us.

June 2008: The last photo I took of the four of them.

Thankful

There are many reasons to be thankful! We are very fortunate to have four amazing, beautiful, healthy little girls. Even on the days where I'm ready to pull out all of my hair, I realize how very lucky I am.

Wednesday I woke up to discover a brick had been thrown through Ian's rear windshield. I was pretty shocked, considering we live in a very safe, quiet neighborhood. In fact, I don't think any of our neighbors are under the age of 50. Fortunately, we had been planning to sell the car and we knew it wasn't worth much. We decided it would be better to just donate the car and Goodwill is scheduled to pick it up tomorrow. I am very grateful the damage wasn't to my van, which Ian had taken to work with him that morning.

We spent Thanksgiving with my parents and a couple of family friends. It was nice, quiet and there was far more food than we could eat. We spent the evening playing with the kids, followed by the six of us crowding on the couch to watch Wall-E. It was really nice to wind down and spend time with the kids.

Tim's (my FIL) condition has been getting progressively worse. Three days ago, I was annoyed with the constant ringing of the phone and had decided not to bother to check it. My MIL then called my mom and by the time she reached me she was very upset. Tim had another breathing "episode" and had been taken to hospice the night before. He won't be returning home. The entire situation is so tragic, I can't even begin to try to relate. They were married 30 years ago, in their early twenties and had so many plans for the future. I really didn't know any words of comfort.

In better news, I have completed most of my Christmas shopping! Ian received his bonus on Thanksgiving, so we took full advantage of the Thanksgiving/Black Friday deals. We opted to order most of our gifts online this year to save dealing with the crowds. I am extremely excited for our Gymboree package to get here, I was able to order some of the outfits I have been eying for ages! The little things in life really do please me!

An 8 year old's drama

As much as I have tried to be reasonable, I have officially turned into one of those mothers. From the time we enrolled Dannah and Natalie in kindergarten, we specifically requested that the girls be put into separate classes. Having their own friends, space, and identities was very important to us. After Dannah was put into the GT program it became a non-issue.

Recently, it was brought to my attention that Natalie was being picked on by a couple of girls in her specials group. When she informed the teacher of this, the teacher responded by saying, "Am I E. or M.? Go work it out with them." Finally, after hearing what these children were saying to Natalie, I went to Natalie's teacher and expressed my disappointment in how this situation was being handled. I asked that Natalie be moved to another group. She told me that instead of moving Natalie, she would ask that the girls who were bullying be separated. There are three groups of 2nd graders, so I assumed it would be taken care of.

Today Dannah comes home in tears and tells me that they did separate the girls, but in the process they pulled Dannah out of her group and put her into Natalie's! They left one of the bullies in Natalie's group, moved the other to the 3rd group and I'm assuming placed Dannah with Natalie so that she could help protect her. I was furious!

I called Natalie's teacher and explained why I was upset about Dannah being put in the middle of this situation, to which she told me she would see what she could do. I then called the specials teacher and told her that I wanted Dannah placed back in her original group and I did not appreciate her bringing Dannah into a situation that had nothing to do with her. While I remained polite, she responded fairly harsh to me over the phone but agreed to place Dannah back in her original group.

Unfortunately, the issue is far from over. I feel horrible about it because one mother is threatening to pull her child from the school due to one of the girls being placed in her group. While normally I would sum it up to this parent's decision, she is really the only other parent I have connected with and her daughter is the only solid friendship Natalie has formed.

Am I being irrational by being ticked over how this situation was handled?